YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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