She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
