Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
