plz talk dirty to me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
