Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
