no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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