I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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