I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
