Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
