Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
