I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
