Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I understand Curling. That high.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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