I hate all girls vehemently.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
