real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
