let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
