your room smells of hookers.
And success
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
