Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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