You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize