I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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