ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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