Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Randomize
