The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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