i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
