Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
