Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
