i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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