i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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