Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize