he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
