I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
