i just wanna soil my oats bro
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
