I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
