I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
