guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
