stop calling my apartment porn island.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
