Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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