i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
