Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
