I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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