Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
