I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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