I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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