So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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