Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i will never coherently bang her
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
