He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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