This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
i think i just lost a toe
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize