I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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