fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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