i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
