but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
