he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
