I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
