I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I need a beard to bite.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
