im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
