Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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