After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize