just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
