I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize