I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Green mimosas i think yes
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
