i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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