I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
