just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
