I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize