Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
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