:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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