STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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