I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
