Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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