How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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