Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
