Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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