Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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