I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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