i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
