I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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